"You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and
believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay
in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."
Red pill. I've definitely taken the red pill. It was an impulse decision, thinking I could handle where the rabbit hole takes me. I don't have any second thoughts but oh boy I can fantasize about what it would be like to take that blue pill. This rabbit hole is filled with demons of my own making and perhaps plenty of others that I allowed others to out there as well. My psychologist got me to take a test to measure levels of depression, anxiety and stress. I managed to get a pretty decent score for the depression and stress so, after consulting my my regular GP I am finally on anti-depressants. I probably should have started them about twelve years ago but I've started now. I don't feel any different as yet (I was told I won't notice anything for a few weeks) but I am experiencing the worst dry mouth I've ever had. Feels like all the moisture in my mouth has been evaporated and it doesn't matter how much I drink, nothing makes it go away.
I realize the majority of the things I've been talking about lately have nothing really to do with weight loss - directly. Honestly though, how important is it to deal with all the indirect factors first. its something I've never done before. Normally its just a decision to diet and exercise. A battle to start, the first weigh loss to keep me going then a bad day to screw it and go back to before. My eating has been ok. I haven't had any take-out in well over a week. It's easier when my husband is home. It means I have to cook and I can't skip meals. Although I am still struggling to get up early enough to eat breakfast. 7am isn't the best time of day for me. I hate you morning people.
Lost in Wonderland, The Fat Lady.
No comments:
Post a Comment