Do I brush over the questions that I refuse to answer myself? A great example being "Are you depressed?" to which I answer "No." Nothing more, don't need to elaborate - that's when you get caught LYING.
or
Do I be completely and brutally honest? Lay all my demons out and let the therapist make sense of it all. This is frightening and enticing at the same time.
The appointment with the surgeon went well, and I'm booked in to see a dietitian and physiologist. I haven't committed to anything yet but I want to pursue this possibility. I have opted for Gastric Bypass as the surgery option due to where I live and from the surgeon's recommendations. This reads like I have made my decision doesn't it? Mmmmmm. Maybe. Possibly. Likely. Not sure.
I'm not worried about the surgery. I'm not worries about the diet and fitness changes. I've acutally made a goal to do a fun run at the end of the year if I go through with all this. The physiologist thinks I could run by then without an issue (this I find hard to imagine, its a challenge to RUN to the toilet when emergency strikes and that's when you NEED to be able to run!)
BUT
The psychologist scares the hell out of me. Not him as a person, more how I am going to cope with unveiling all this crap in my head that has been on blend mode since I hit puberty. That was 14 years ago.
My mind is like the TV show Hoarders: Buried Alive - Its such a mess even I don't know where to start to clean in up. Its too stressful to try. So I settle and accept that this is how it is while hating every minute of it. Now it's time to call the professional cleaners and originators in to clean it up. I'll always remember that it was such a mess, but once its clean and spacious, life will be different in ways I can't imagine.
Or something like that.
Fire away Freud.
Hope your couch isn't vinyl - Fat Lady.
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